Understanding the Self

Written and reviewed by Anjali Sharma, Biology & Home Science faculty at UniDrill (M.Sc. Botany, Banaras Hindu University · 8 years teaching). Based on NCERT Home Science Class XI (Human Ecology and Family Sciences Part I), Chapter 2.

Are you the same person you were five years ago?

Look at an old school photo. The haircut, the height, the friends, the favourite cartoon, even the opinions have changed. Yet when you point at that child and say "that's me", you are certain. How can you have changed so much and still be the same person? This chapter answers that puzzle. It also explains why a five-year-old says "I am tall", a nine-year-old says "I run faster than Kiran", and a sixteen-year-old says "I am calm but get easily disturbed".

Self, self concept, self esteem and identity

The sense of self is your sense of "I", different from "you", "them" and "others". The textbook defines self as the totality of a person's experiences, ideas, thoughts and feelings about herself or himself. Three related ideas are used loosely in daily life, but they are not the same.

Self concept and self esteem are elements of identity. Psychologists also separate self, identity and personality carefully, but the three are closely linked and are often used interchangeably in everyday speech.

Personal and social self. The self has many dimensions. The personal self covers aspects that relate only to you. The social self covers aspects where you are involved with others, such as sharing, cooperation, support and unity. Identity splits the same way.

Why many "I am…" sentences differ. When people complete ten sentences beginning "I am…", they usually describe their body, feelings, mental abilities, social roles such as son, daughter or student, potential, beliefs, themselves as a doer who acts, and themselves as a thinker. That range is why the self is called multi-dimensional.

Why it matters. Knowing yourself helps you build a positive sense of self. A positive self concept makes it easier to deal with change, choose a career and take part in groups.

How the self grows: infancy to adolescence

You are not born with a sense of self. You build it. A newborn does not know that the hand in front of her face is her own.

Infancy. The infant has no self-awareness at birth. Self-image recognition appears around 18 months. In the latter half of the second year, infants begin to use I, me and mine and recognise themselves in photographs.

Pause and predict: a 20-month-old is placed before a mirror with a red dot on her cheek. She looks at the mirror and touches her own cheek. What does this show?

Check your answer: She recognises the reflection as herself. An infant without self-awareness would touch the mirror or play with the reflection as if it were another baby. The experiment is done with infants roughly 14 to 24 months old.

Beyond the textbook. For the exam: self-recognition appears around 18 months, tested with a coloured spot on the face. In reality: this "mirror test" was first designed to test self-recognition in animals such as chimpanzees and was later adapted for infants. Why it matters: it shows that recognising yourself is a mental achievement that develops, not an automatic gift at birth.

The three later stages side by side. CUET loves this comparison, so build it from memory.

In early childhood, the self is "what I have and do". In middle childhood, it becomes "what I am compared with others". In adolescence, it becomes "who I really am and who I want to be".

Real self and ideal self. The real self is how you actually are; the ideal self is how you would like to be. A girl who wants to be tall but is actually short has a gap between the two. Children begin to see the difference in middle childhood, and the ideal self becomes more prominent in adolescence.

Why adolescence is the critical time

According to the psychologist Erik H. Erikson, at each stage of life a person has a task to accomplish before moving on. In late infancy and early childhood (about 2 to 4 years) one task is bladder and bowel control, without which taking part in social life is hard. In adolescence the task is to develop a sense of identity, a satisfactory self-definition.

Adolescence is called a time of identity crisis for three reasons. The person is more preoccupied with knowing herself or himself than ever before. Towards the end, the person forms a lasting sense of selfhood and can say "this is who I am". And the identity is being shaped by rapid biological changes and changing social demands at the same time.

The adolescent is expected to act like an adult and take up responsibilities, yet is often still treated like a child. A teenager may rebel against being treated "like a child" and in the same week seek comfort like one. Parents say "behave like a grown-up" but may also say you are too young to discuss the family budget. These conflicting messages can lead to role confusion: trouble concentrating, difficulty starting or finishing work on time and difficulty coping with schedules.

Why it matters. These difficulties are a normal part of development. Nothing is wrong with an adolescent who feels contradictory feelings. The feeling of crisis arises when there is a big gap between what is expected now and earlier.

Two views. For the exam: adolescence is a critical time for identity, and difficulties are normal. Another reading: the same chapter notes that for adolescents involved in family occupations the break between childhood and adulthood may not be sharp. A child helping on the family farm at 12 has much the same role at 16, with more responsibility. So the "crisis" is not equally strong for everyone, and a statement saying that every adolescent experiences identity crisis is too strong.

The five characteristics of the adolescent self.

What shapes identity? The four influences

Each person's identity is unique for three reasons: a unique combination of genes (except for identical twins), different experiences, and different responses even to similar experiences. The self is built through experiences, through what others tell you about yourself and through your relationships in the family, school, workplace and community. Parents name the child, play body games, ask "Why did you do this?" and give feedback such as "You are a good boy for helping". This word-and-feedback process is how the child constructs and re-constructs the self.

Biological and physical changes. Puberty is the time when sexual maturity is reached. Pubescence is the period of physical and biological change that leads to puberty. For most girls pubescence ranges from 11 to 13 years, and for boys 13 to 15 years. Menarche, the first menstruation, is usually taken as the point of sexual maturity in girls. There is no equally definite event in boys, although the production of spermatozoa is sometimes used. A measure useful for both is the maximum yearly increase in height.

The normal sequence of changes during pubescence is given below. The body changes are universal, but their psychological and social impact differs from culture to culture and from person to person.

Socio-cultural contexts. Society reacts differently to the same physical changes. In some traditional settings puberty brings more restrictions on girls while boys keep their freedom of movement, so the identity of a girl in a traditional community can differ from that of a girl in an urban area. Two broad patterns are compared in the chapter.

These are broad patterns, not rules for every person. Families within the same culture differ too.

Two views. For the exam: Western cultures emphasise separation and independence, while non-Western cultures such as the Indian emphasise interdependence within the family. Another reading: cultural psychologists remind us that both individuality and connectedness matter everywhere, and the textbook itself says a family climate that offers both is best for healthy identity. Treat independence versus interdependence as a matter of emphasis, not as a rule.

Occupational choice. Where children are trained in the family occupation, such as weaving, until adolescence, they are ready to take adult roles early. Their identity is drawn more from the family and there are fewer confusions. Where many occupations and a lot of technology are available, adolescents train for longer and stay dependent on parents. Adolescence is extended and adulthood delayed, and exposure to alternative lifestyles may bring conflict with parents.

Family and peers. Identity grows best in families where adolescents may hold their own point of view and where a secure relationship gives a base from which to explore the widening world. Firm and affectionate parenting supports healthy identity: parents are warm, supportive, praise efforts and respond sensitively, but are also firm in discipline. Peers become very important. Parents and peers often serve complementary needs, though their values can clash. Peer pressure can be positive or negative, and negative effects appear in harmful behaviours such as smoking, taking drugs or alcohol, or bullying. Two words describe the ideal family atmosphere, individuality (own point of view) and connectedness (sensitivity and openness to others' views).

Emotional changes. Adolescents are preoccupied with their bodies and imagine everybody is noticing every detail. Pride and comfort with one's body help the sense of self. Too much dissatisfaction with appearance can disturb concentration, lower performance in school and lower self-esteem. Mood swings are common, such as wanting company at one moment and solitude the next, with sharp bursts of anger, as the adolescent tries to make sense of many changes.

Cognitive changes. The big leap in adolescence is abstract thinking: thinking beyond what is present and seen. Thinking is also flexible, so adolescents can imagine hypothetical situations and their outcomes without actually going through them. This helps identity because adolescents can link their present with an imagined future.

Pause and predict: a Class XI student says, "If I take Biology and Home Science I could become a nutritionist, and if I take Maths I could become an engineer." Which change in adolescence makes this kind of thinking possible?

Check your answer: Cognitive change, the ability to think abstractly and hypothetically. She is imagining possible futures and planning her studies to suit them.

Exam traps

60-second revision

Where this chapter connects

• Previous: Introduction explains why adolescence is the focus of Class XI.
• Next: Food, Nutrition, Health and Fitness shows how good nutrition helps adolescents deal with these changes.
• Later in the course: Concerns and Needs in Diverse Contexts places the adolescent in the family and larger society.
• Class XII link: Early Childhood Care and Education looks at the early years where the sense of self begins.